23 May Advice to Our Teenage Selves
May is National Teen Self-Esteem Month. Self-esteem issues affect people of all ages. However, we are particularly at risk of experiencing a low sense of self-worth during our teenage years. At Fluent, we understand the importance of lifting up our young people and helping them to foster a positive view of who they are and what they can achieve. With that in mind, we asked some of our team members to reflect on the advice they would offer their teenage selves. Their answers warmed our hearts and provided us with some valuable self-esteem tools.
Charlotte Beatty, User Experience Researcher
Alone time in nature is essential! Alone time (read: no parents, no authority figures, no outside noise or opinions!) affords teens a moment to rest and reset and listen to their own voice without any distractions, but doing something active, like going outside, can really help teens consciously reflect about themselves and their interests. Taking a walk or going for a hike outdoors can significantly help with processing difficult emotions, finding a sense of flow or balance, and sparking creativity. If you’re not a nature person, any solo, meditative activity can have the same benefits. When I was a teen, I connected to my sense of self-esteem best when I was hiking bluffs, walking along beaches, painting, performing ballet, or swimming.
Stefanie Cousins, Vice President of Marketing and Communications
It’s okay to make mistakes. Be kind to yourself. Every other teen is figuring it out too.
Heath Cozens, Director of Productions
This is my confidence hack for public speaking, but it can apply in lots of socially stressful situations. Focus on the message, not yourself. Think of how you ride a bike: if you only look at your front wheel, you’ll wipe out. But if you look at where you’re going, you’re golden. It’s a lot more fun to focus on communicating your passion, and 99% of the time, people are actually rooting for you. Their attention is on the substance of your message, your actions, and what you bring to the table, rather than superficial aspects like your appearance or how polished you seem. And if you’re bringing positivity/utility/good vibes and they’re still attacking you…? Well, in that rare case, you can probably guess why, and the real reason has nothing to do with you. So when you’re feeling stressed, take a moment to note that feeling, and then put it aside. Shift focus to what you want people to take away from the interaction. This will not only make you more confident but also make your interactions more meaningful.
Tom Fuller, Vice President of Business Development
Take off that silly hat and wear sunglasses instead of those coke bottle horn rims! No, you’re okay — remember you’re smarter than some and faster than most.
Nellie Gregorian, Founder and President
Don’t be so hard on yourself, Nellie. Keep that critical inner voice in check! And don’t be shy about acknowledging your strengths and talents. It’s OK to pat yourself on the back from time to time.
Mary Meyn, Director of Research
It’s ok to not have all the answers — keep asking questions and challenge the status quo. I’m proud of you.
Anonymous
Every loving thing you do for yourself is practice for loving someone else well. Meditate on your strengths, and focus less on your weaknesses. Not getting everything right on the first try makes you human, leaving plenty of room for growth and discovery. Expect failure, and allow it to serve as transformational instruction; maybe you can even help others learn from your mistakes one day. Get good at identifying your feelings by building a vocabulary for the range of emotions you feel — “amused,” “anxious”, “astonished”! Don’t be scared of your feelings, feel them all, and let them inform you of what is important or valuable to you. Remember that you are deeply loved as an immutable fact and that no one, not even you, can undo that.