24 May The Parenting Conundrum & Digital Safety
One of the most consistent findings I have noticed while studying families and digital media over the years is that parents want their children to be less dependent on them. At the same time, however, parents must also supervise their children and ensure their children’s online safety. In various studies about educational apps, children’s media, digital gaming, non-digital play, and reading, many parents have admitted that whatever the medium, they want their children to be both safe and independent. Therein lies the parenting conundrum.
Parents tend to opt for solo activities and resources for their children that can offer the safest options and the most autonomy. For example, while co-reading is important to parents to allow time to bond, they also want their child to grow to love reading and eventually choose to read independently on their own. Similarly, parents often prefer to send their children to the yard (if one is available to them) instead of a public park, since they can provide supervision while getting other things done at home.
While this idea may seem like a no-brainer (especially to parents), the solutions that research offers as the best and safest options for children—co-viewing and co-playing, for example, which we fully support—can admittedly leave parents feeling that they have to make a hard choice. They feel they have to choose between what they should do to be a “good parent” and what they end up doing in reality, which is often pushing their child toward the easiest solution that gets them out of their hair. We have heard from many parents that they struggle to balance their children’s need for activities that are educational, fun, and physically active —activities that often require supervision—with their own need for time to do what they need to do, which often requires their child to act independently.
According to our research, the capacity for independent play is one of the key drivers for parents to allow technology use among young children, beating out most other anxieties parents report having about screen time and active time. This is a particularly interesting finding to see come up time and again, especially given the vats of ink spilled over screen time since the debut of the iPad in 2010 (not to mention the invention of the television). Complicating the picture further, the levers for safety and autonomy are different for each family. A family most concerned about exposure, for example, might allow their 11-year-old to access any video game they want as long as their device is not connected to the internet. Another family concerned about contact and location might give their 11-year-old a phone so that they can be reached wherever they are, with less concern about how the child uses it.
Regardless of each family’s situation, however, there are certain takeaways tech companies might consider to help parents feel more confident in their child’s safety when using technology independently. Ideally, with this peace of mind, parents might be less anxious about not striking the balance between wanting to engage with their children and needing time to be more hands off.
1) Support the balance of learning and fun.
We have heard from many parents that, if their children are going to be on a screen anyway, they want the time spent to be as educational as possible. For some parents, an engaging educational app is a relief, since the alternatives are “mindless” apps that just waste time. But above all, we have heard that parents take cues from their children about what is engaging for them and worth spending time and money on. If it is educational but no fun, it is not going to be worth the time, let alone the money. App designers should strive for the happy medium. Note, however, that the desire for educational apps seems to change over time: as older children have increased responsibilities at school, parents want their children to relax and are more okay with “mindless” fun.
2) Support parents’ search for appropriate content.
We have likely all experienced the inundation of choices that have resulted from the proliferation of streamers, channels, and podcast networks. The children’s media landscape is no different. There is no shortage of options for devices, apps, or shows to choose from, and parents are operating on a combination of word of mouth, pre-vetting (using the apps themselves for a while), and trial and error. Issues with app store rating systems have been well documented, but in addition to overdue changes to those systems, parents need to be made aware of websites like Common Sense Media (CSM) that include parent and child reviews and media research. Outlets such as CSM can also help parents differentiate high-quality, research-based content from popular apps that claim to be educational. This information can help parents make their own decisions about what is right for their family.
3) Support parents’ efforts to keep their children safe.
Parents trust devices and apps that help them maintain control over what their children are exposed to. While they can control most of what comes into their home in other ways, technology can be a conduit to the wider world that parents have comparatively little control over. We have found that parents are not completely comfortable with company-imposed or set-it-and-forget-it filters, so we suggest clear controls that allow parents to customize and revisit the boundaries they’ve set over time.
4) Support regulations on children’s time.
Although parents like that technology can occupy their children’s time, they also fear and dislike the complete and utter takeover of their attention. Parents we have talked to complain about being excluded from engagement with their child while they are on devices. While some parents have outsourced being the screen time “bad guy” to timers and house rules, many parents wish apps and devices integrated periodic breaks after an appropriate amount of time. This feature would make transitions between activities smoother for everyone.
5) Support optional parent participation.
Although parents want and need their children to be independent, they still see the value of co-engagement and participation in their interests. Multiplayer modes and prompts for optional parent participation in activities invite parents to engage with their children in digital spaces rather than exclude them. Portals or logins that give parents a view of what their child is doing and the progress they have made also help parents feel connected without interrupting their child’s screen time.
Conducting research with parents and children provides me and my colleagues at Fluent with the opportunity to advise tech companies on how their products and services might have a positive impact on kids and their parents. These are some of the most common insights we have heard from families across our research studies. I look forward to seeing how Fluent Research continues to help make new innovations even better for them.
By Tiffany Salone*